At times I feel like I have been at the beach, working on building my sand castle for hours on hours. I have worked hard–chipping away the rough parts, and giving a better and more proper definition to what I want my castle to look like at the end of my day by the ocean. I look around and everyone who I can see if also working on their sand castle. Some look better than others, but most are near completion, whether flawless or with rough edges. But one thing is for sure, I have been working hard on my sand castle and for some reason I want to crush it and start from scratch.
I am twenty-two years old, and there are days that I want to kick my sand castle. The last few years of my life have been rough when it comes to direction. I established my values and my moral compass early on, but only in the past two to three years I have understood the definition of the word determination and perseverance–the willingness to push to the end and achieve the predetermined goals. I have taken the mantle of leading my church’s college student ministry, I have set my goal to attend seminary and earn my degree in Divinity, and to continue pursuing ministry and serving full-time God’s church and Kingdom work.
And yet, there are days that I want to push it over the edge. A couple days ago I had a great conversation with one of my closest friends. We talked about a number of topics, but one thing that I got from our conversation was that my friend desired to do so much more than what he was doing at the moment. He has a great job and a great opportunity to pursue something that he is really passionate about–and yet, he sees himself doing so much more. This recent conversation taught me much about how to see where I am currently at.
A fear that I have is that once I start seminary and fully devote the rest of my life to ministry, I will close every single other door in my life. I fear that those other areas and parts of my life where I have talents, abilities, and skills will simply go and fade away. But conversing with my brother in Christ taught me that there is so much to life than the burdens, challenges, and pressures of the present. There are times when what is right in front of us is so urgent and so overwhelming, mostly because it is in front of us, that it blocks our frontal and peripheral vision.
The truth is that throughout my life and throughout the life of every person–especially fellow Christians–we won’t build just one sand castle, we will be building many. It’s easy to get caught in the idea that we have a “calling,” and that if we don’t pursue the right calling or at the right time, we will throw away our whole life. The big picture is that if you get up from your sand pit and begin walking around the beach, we would all realize that we are all building multiple sand castles, but that what it takes is focusing on each sand castle at a time.