When Joy Isn’t There

Tonight I attended my church’s young adult/professionals ministry night. The topic was Practical Christianity, but more specifically “how to find your destiny in God.” Any time I walk into a conference or sermon that has to do with this topic, I get ready for the best and the worst. And, much like usual, I experienced the best and the worst.

A main point of the message was: don’t just live for the future, but for the here and now. In other words, God is giving you today and the first thing to do is to learn to enjoy and honor God with today before He can “give” us and lead us into tomorrow.

I get it. I understand this. I really do. I can quote the Scripture behind it and run circles around messages centered on this. That is not the problem. The problem is that, the moment I got home tonight I thought about today and the thought in my mind was “today wasn’t a good day and I find no joy in today.” Knowing my church, if I were to tell this to a pastor face-to-face, I would probably get a talk about how God is challenging me and how God will use today’s “badness” for a purpose and how my definition of good may not be the same as God’s definition of a blessed, fulfilling, and “good” day.

Look I understand that. You are talking to the guy who applied and got into Bible college before deciding full time ministry wasn’t for him. I guess the reality that I am living, even if it isn’t the reality that I am meant to live, is one in which I spend most of my life preparing and getting ready for something, living in the uncertainty that if God doesn’t want that for my life, He can take it away at any given moment, and the truth is that such an approach at life is absolutely terrifying.

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