From the Ashes

I train all the time. Maybe not at the level of a pro athlete or an Olympian, but training and working out is part of my daily routine. Lately, this fall, my training has been wrecked by a great number of injuries. In mid September I got a really nasty cut on top of my shin playing Rec softball. Later in early October, I sprained by knee while swinging at a pitch in softball (seeing the pattern). Finally, 2 weeks ago, I had my most dangerous injury yet: I strained (pulled) my front quad while sprinting from first base to second.

Besides the fact that I will never play Rec softball again–the sacrifice doesn’t add up to the rewards–my fitness and training hasn’t been what is was in the late summer. In many ways, staying in shape and fit is an idol I constantly have to hand over to God in my life. At one point in my life I weighed around 270lbs and was very, very unhealthy. Not a good place to be. Since then, staying in shape has been an obsession. I know what it is like to feel unfit and out of shape, and I don’t experience that again.Therefore, my present state of injury pushes me near the edge of depression on a daily basis. I hate being broken. I hate it.

I know God is sovereign and His will reigns above all. My injuries, yes even them, fall under the will of God and I know that God is using them to build me stronger. However, it isn’t easy to be physically broken waiting to be healed. I know my idols and I know God hates them. Being in shape is not an idol, but being obsessed with worry of not being and afraid of failing before my obstacles is. To God be the glory, in victory and in defeat.

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