I have plenty of good friends. I thank God that I have always had good friends throughout my life to be there for me—except during middle school and that sucked. However, because of how much middle school absolutely sucked, I am eternally grateful for all the friends that God has blessed me with, especially the ones that were there for me when I needed them the most in very challenging phases of my life (that’s you Andrew during high school, and you Tim during undergrad).
However, the other day I was thinking about what kind of test I would give someone who would like to apply to be one of my best friends. Well, it isn’t perfect but here are some questions I would include in a test for someone applying to be a best friend (talk about being a borderline narcissist):
BEWARE: If you are not a nerd, or have no sense of appreciation for nerdy and geeky stuff, you should stop reading and go to the gym…or something.
1. If there was to be a duel between Lord Voldemort, from the Harry Potter series, in his fully restored form, and Darth Sidious aka Emperor Palpatine, the Dark Lord of the Sith, who would come out of that battle victorious? Please expand on your answer.
2. One of your other, more ignorant friends makes the following statement: “Man, I love Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, and Dragon Ball GT and I truly believe that GT is the true end to the Dragon Ball series.” How do you respond to this?
3. What is the greatest branch in the United States military? Actually never mind that. Let’s be more specific. What is the greatest branch within the United States Army? BONUS POINTS if you can tell me why God loves this branch the most?
4. If you had to name one video game whose multiplayer experience revolutionized multiplayer gaming forever, which game would you pick? [Hint: If you are about to pick a game published on a PlayStation system you are INCORRECT—just give up now]
5. Back to Star Wars [Knowledge of Expanded Universe is a must]. Name the only two characters in the Star Wars universe to start out in the Light side of the Force, go to the Dark side, become full “Darths” of the Sith, and then redeem themselves by coming back to the light? You may research this question for ½ credit.
6. What is the greatest musical that was turned into movie that was also a musical? You will lose much respect if you get this one wrong.
7. Yes or No. Did you cry at any point in the last 45 minutes of Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King?
8. What is the greatest ethnic/national cuisine? For half the credit you can answer what is the second greatest ethnic/national cuisine?
9. What is the greatest country on the Earth? For ½ credit, what is the most evil country on Earth?
10. Do you agree with the final Confederate charge at the Battle of Gettysburg being named after General Pickett (“Pickett’s Charge”) or are you of the opinion that it should be “Pettigrew’s Charge” since the North Carolinians at Gettysburg, under General Pettigrew, outnumbered the Virginians under General Pickett at the very same charge? State your case.
11. Who was/is the greatest president in American history? This one is a deal-breaker.
12. Who was the greatest statesman in world history? Even if you are wrong, you may receive partial credit if you defend your answer well.
13. Do you lose all control and laugh out loud when you watch the movie “21 Jump Street” starring Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum? Do you have a soul?
TIE-BREAKER [you always need a tie-breaker]: What is my favorite color?
I will release the correct answers to these questions next week (or later this week if I get the time).