The Answers We Don’t Want.

In a recent interview with The MMA Hour weekly show, UFC fighter and former champ Forrest Griffin, was asked the following question:

“How often do you speak to Him [God]?

 

Forrest Griffin answered, “Not that often. Not that often. The dude is gonna give me answers I probably don’t want.”

I think Forrest Griffin is the man. I am a fan when he is in the Octagon and of what I know of his life outside the Octagon. But, to be honest, I had never heard of a religious or spiritual side to Griffin. It really came as a surprise to me when this topic came up in a conversation which was pretty far away from anything that had to do with God or religion.

Continuing to expand on his recently found relationship with God, Griffin stated, “It’s kinda like you know the answers, but they are really tough choices…He wants me to do like four hours a day, every day…for the rest of my life. That’s not fun.” Griffin may not be your prime example of someone who is following God with all his heart and mind. I use the words “may not be” because in the end, Griffin’s relationship with God is between him and God–I don’t know all the details. I am not supposed to know all the details.

But, honestly, I respect the answers Griffin gave on The MMA Hour on his relationship with God. I respect his answers because they were honest and true. His answers came from the mouth of a man that has nothing to lose or gain in being honest about the topic of God. I also respect what he said because they seem like the answers that I would give if I always spoke with full honesty about my relationship with God.

As a small group and Bible study leader, as the son of ministers, as a husband, as an adult, as a mentor to others, and as a Christian, it isn’t always easy to admit that I am struggling with God–that I am wrestling with God every day and I am not even trying to win. I am just trying not to lose.

But the truth is that Forrest Griffin’s answers speak to my heart. I avoid talking to God because I am afraid of the answers He is going to give me. Like Griffin said, “you know the answers, but they are really tough choices.” What kind of excuses can I come up with when the only thing I fear, talking to my heavenly father, is that He will ask from me things I don’t want to commit to.

Afterwards, Griffin was asked if he felt like a better person, now that he believed and had a relationship with God. Griffin answered the following:

“Not really. It’s almost worst, to be honest. I feel like I see the path I should be on, but I am too lazy and selfish to actually fully commit to it.”

Once again, Griffin took the words right out of my mouth. It’s hard feeling like a better person talking to God because when we stand before God, in all His glory and splendor, we become aware of how gross and broken we are. We are fine with who we are until we look at God and we see the difference between the heart of God and our own, the difference between God’s passion and our passions. It’s  tough dealing with the differences between that which makes God’s heart sing and that which makes us feel happy and fulfilled.

God is true, good, righteous, just, majestic, wonderful, loving, glorious, and many other things–things that I am not. So, when my small human self is aware of all that God is and the fact that God wants to have a relationship with me (which involves talking to me and sharing Himself with me), it’s tough because you know His spirit will convict you of your shortcomings.

God doesn’t do this to make us feel like crap. He doesn’t do this to make Himself feel better. God doesn’t need me to make Himself feel better–He is constantly aware of how awesome He is. However, in my human mind, I feel ashamed of my mistakes and shortcomings. I feel afraid that God will be disappointed in me. So what do I do? I avoid God. I avoid praying, conversing, asking Him questions (big and small). I avoid reading His Word (in the Scriptures).

The awesome aspect of any Christian’s relationship with God is that God’s Spirit comforts us in our time of need, even when our brokenness is something that we put on our own shoulders. When God asks us to do something for Him, He doesn’t expect us to do it out of our own strength and determination. God is willing to stand by us and be our strength, our peace, our focus, our passion, and our fulfillment. God doesn’t always takes the challenges away, but He will always be the strength we need to carry on.

I only have a few words from God to my fellow man, Forrest Griffin. Forrest, don’t be afraid of talking to God because of the answers that God may have for your questions. Don’t expect that God expects your life to be flawless and perfect. Don’t expect God to believe that you have all that it takes to live the life He wants you to live. If that were the case, then we wouldn’t need God at all. God wants to be your strength, your wisdom, and your passion in what He is calling you to. Forrest, God is always willing. Peace brother.

The Idea of America as a Christian Nation (video post)

This video was originally posted by Justin Taylor on his blog at The Gospel Coalition. I thought it was very good to see this conversation take place in an unpolitical and mostly academic conversation. Enjoy.

 

What you do with where you are.

[The beginning to this post may lose you for a second, but hang in there–it should all clear up along the way]

PROLOGUE to POST

Starkiller stands in front of the infamous cave at Dagobah, the very same cave that Luke Skywalker will walk into in years to come. At the entrance stands a small but ancient creature, Yoda, once Grand Master of the Jedi Order, now reduced to a dweller of this swamp planet. Starkiller notices the green alien and asks:

“You guard this place?”

Yoda: “Oh ho. No, only a watcher am I now. ”
Starkiller: “Then you’ll let me pass?”

Yoda: “Brought you here, the galaxy has. Your path clearly this is.”

WHAT YOU DO WITH WHERE YOU ARE.

It has become routine, in the last year or so, for me to fall into a cyclical state of chronic depression. Maybe depression is too hard of a word–maybe I am giving myself either too much or not enough credit. I can safely state, however, that the last year has been full of emotional and spiritual trials. I have dealt, and continue to fight, with feelings of forsakenness, loss, desperation, misguidance, fear, and anxiety. I wish I could say today that I have conquered all my enemies and these feelings that come and go. But that isn’t the case. I am still fighting them even now.

It isn’t always clear where these feelings come from. At times they come from immediate situations that develop around me, only to find out that they are connected with other feelings and experiences from the past. At other moments I find myself falling apart because of moments long ago, only to see that the present is what is actually haunting me. The source is never quite clear, only that the struggle inside is certainly true and real.

At the end of each day though, before I head to bed to hopefully rest and recharge for tomorrow, I always know that God is sovereign. It may be ironic that a believer in the sovereignty of God struggles with so many feelings and emotions attached to uncertainty of tomorrow. That is understandable. However, I would be lying if I said that I don’t struggle with such feelings. Nevertheless, I know God is sovereign. I know God is in control. I know, without a doubt, that my life rests in the hands of my Lord and my Savior King.

So what in the world do the quotes above have to do with this? As a Christian, I don’t believe in luck or fortune. I don’t believe in “the will of the universe” or the galaxy. I don’t believe in randomness or that some force outside of God controls the events of daily life.

However, in the quote above Yoda appeals to a higher power.  Feeling doubt about whether he should enter the cave at Dagobah, Starkiller asks Yoda whether he will stop him. To this Yoda states “brought you here, the galaxy has. Your path clearly this is.” What this means is that whether you meant to be here or not, you are here now, therefore, there must be a purpose to you being here–pursue it!

God is a person. He isn’t a universal or galactic force without a face or personal will. Regardless of the events of daily life, God is sovereign and He has brought me to this place that I find myself in; therefore, my path clearly this is. There have been many moments in my life when I have been completely lacking of any understanding to what God is doing with me: why am I here? What does He want from me? Where am I to go now? What I am supposed to be doing with the now? I am certain there will be more times in the future when that will also be the case.

The victory lies in what you do with where you are. You are here. I am here. What will you do in the place that God has placed you? Will you stand still? Or will you pursue the will of God for you in this place? That is the daily challenge of the believer. That is the dilemma of every living saint.

It doesn’t matter what may be bringing despair, anxiety, or depression to me at any given moment. What matters is that I live in the hands of a loving God that has a purpose for my life and a purpose to where I am right now and the struggles I am fighting. Therefore, I will accept the place God has brought me to, and embrace the path He has placed me on. And if I am ever unaware of what path I am to follow, I will stop pretending He isn’t there, and simply go talk to my Heavenly Father.

Be blessed.

 

Building Sand Castles

At times I feel like I have been at the beach, working on building my sand castle for hours on hours. I have worked hard–chipping away the rough parts, and giving a better and more proper definition to what I want my castle to look like at the end of my day by the ocean. I look around and everyone who I can see if also working on their sand castle. Some look better than others, but most are near completion, whether flawless or with rough edges. But one thing is for sure, I have been working hard on my sand castle and for some reason I want to crush it and start from scratch.

I am twenty-two years old, and there are days that I want to kick my sand castle. The last few years of my life have been rough when it comes to direction. I established my values and my moral compass early on, but only in the past two to three years I have understood the definition of the word determination and perseverance–the willingness to push to the end and achieve the predetermined goals. I have taken the mantle of leading my church’s college student ministry, I have set my goal to attend seminary and earn my degree in Divinity, and to continue pursuing ministry and serving full-time God’s church and Kingdom work.

And yet, there are days that I want to push it over the edge. A couple days ago I had a great conversation with one of my closest friends. We talked about a number of topics, but one thing that I got from our conversation was that my friend desired to do so much more than what he was doing at the moment. He has a great job and a great opportunity to pursue something that he is really passionate about–and yet, he sees himself doing so much more. This recent conversation taught me much about how to see where I am currently at.

A fear that I have is that once I start seminary and fully devote the rest of my life to ministry, I will close every single other door in my life. I fear that those other areas and parts of my life where I have talents, abilities, and skills will simply go and fade away. But conversing with my brother in Christ taught me that there is so much to life than the burdens, challenges, and pressures of the present. There are times when what is right in front of us is so urgent and so overwhelming, mostly because it is in front of us, that it blocks our frontal and peripheral vision.

The truth is that throughout my life and throughout the life of every person–especially fellow Christians–we won’t build just one sand castle, we will be building many. It’s easy to get caught in the idea that we have a “calling,” and that if we don’t pursue the right calling or at the right time, we will throw away our whole life. The big picture is that if you get up from your sand pit and begin walking around the beach, we would all realize that we are all building multiple sand castles, but that what it takes is focusing on each sand castle at a time.

Be blessed.

The Pursuit of Solitude

Earlier this morning I had coffee with a friend of mine. It is a time of fellowship and good conversation. This morning, as we conversed, the topic of solitude came up. I mentioned how, given my personality and the kind of things I like to do, I have always avoided solitude, because solitude has always led me to boredom, and boredom to being tempted by sin.

I long time ago I took up Jet Li’s philosophy of never being bored with your free time. I thought that as long as I kept myself engaged and proactive, I wouldn’t be bored, and never give myself the opportunity to end up in dark emotional places or fall into lifestyles of sin.

However, being human, I ended up failing at this and ended up being bored at times. So in running away from boredom and what it leads me to, I ended up not learning and growing in how to combat boredom when it does show up. I ran away from my weaknesses instead of giving them over to God.

So I have realized that I, instead of running away from boredom, need to pursue solitude with God. I need to pursue those moments when I need to shut the noise, shut my mouth, stop talking, and just allow God to speak to me and pour His words and peace into my life, my soul, and all that I am.

Reflecting on this: 1 Kings 19: 9-13

“The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.”